Twins - should I put them in seperate school classes?

September is here and my twins are starting Junior school.  It is a separate school from their previous infant school and I will no doubt wave them off with more nerves than they have.

 Their school career has been rather more complicated than I would have liked for a number of reasons including the fact that there is suspicion that my son may be dyslexic.  However, rewind the clock by a few years and the key question in my mind was 'should they be in the same class or separated?'.

First day at school - age 3 yrs

As with all twin conundrums there is no straight forward answer to this as I know that some of my friends have had no choice because of the school is small and only has one class.  Again, parental preference varies with some of my friends separating their twins at the start whilst others have left them together until secondary school.  The majority it seems do prefer to separate them though.

My twins started off in the same part-time nursery class as it wasn't practical to have one attend for the morning session and one for the afternoon session (which started half an hour later).  I also felt that by keeping them together it would reduce any anxiety of starting school (in hindsight I think this was more about easing my anxiety than theirs!).  The morning nursery class all then moved up together to become a reception class together.  It didn't seem fair to move one out of the class away from their friends so they stayed together.

Unfortunately, their new teacher seem to prefer lively little boys and thought my son could do no wrong (great for him!) but tended to overlook quiet little girls who weren't a management problem (not so great for his sister).

Sadly, this situation really knocked my daughter's confidence in her ability at school as she saw her brother start to read books with words first (ironic now given his reading problems - he memorised the words and fooled the teacher!).

He also received the 'Star of the Week' certificate weeks before his sister, despite the fact that she would be behaving beautifully whereas he has a problem with sitting still and concentrating!  From these actions my young daughter concluded that she wasn't clever and couldn't work out what she needed to do to get the good behaviour award.

I was able to address this second issue with the teacher at the parents afternoon and her initial response was that the children have to learn to accept these things.  I pointed out that this was a rather harsh lesson for a 4 year old and it was slightly different when it was your brother rather than a classmate.

A week later, a very excited little girl came home with the much longed for 'Star of the Week' certificate!

Whilst I believe that teachers are trained to treat each child as an individual, I do believe that there is a need to recognise the special relationship that twins will have within that approach and be sensitive to this. 

My twins are now in separate classes and this means that they can learn, play, develop and make mistakes without making (or having made) direct comparisons with their twin.  They are both much happier with this arrangement.

My twins are very different (she is a skippy, quiet, artistic girlie - he is a roaring, noisy boy) so they have always made their own friends and played separately.  However, for some parents it is also important to give their twins the space to make separate friends.

Other parents of twins are, however, happy to keep their children in the same class and have found that by celebrating each other's differences they have not experienced problems like we have.

Whatever you decide to do, I would encourage you to share any concerns with the school and the teacher(s) when you have them.  Do not assume that the teacher will understand the needs/relationship of twins and do not be afraid to make yourself heard.  

And don't forget to pack your tissues when you wave them off at the school gate!!!

Visit Norwich with children

We have just returned from a week camping in Norfolk and are packing the tent away for the season.

Whilst there we made a couple of trips into Norwich which is a small and child friendly city to visit.

My tips for a cheap, child friendly day when on a budget........

1.  Avoid city centre car parks and keeping an eye on the time - use the Park and Ride - £4 for return tickets for 2 adults and children under 16 years.

2.  Use the toilets at Norwich bus station if needed!

3.  Pack a picnic but perhaps stop off at the bakers for a sweet treat (there is a Sayers around the corner from the bus station).

4.  Visit the Plantation gardens (3 acres of secret walled gardens lovingly cared for by volunteers) for your picnic lunch.  £2 donation per adult, children under 16 free.  You also pass a playground in the council park on the way.

Photo Courtesy of Ell Brown, Flickr

5.  Wander through the lanes and the market stalls - grab a drink or an ice cream when spirits lag.

6.  Visit Norwich Cathedral - free, although you are encouraged to make a donation.  However, if you are there with young children your visit is likely to be brief - so it is up to you.


7.  Use the toilets at the Cathedral before moving on.

8.  Spot the boot cleaners built into the walls of the old buildings and explain to the children how the roads used to be.


9.  Visit Norwich castle an hour before closing time - it is £1 per person for anyone over 4 years old.  The castle is deceptive as it is a lot bigger inside than it looks.  However, an hour is long enough to get a flavour of the building and its history with young children and there are loads of interactive activities in the keep to engage them.  This was our favourite bargain activity of the day!

Norwich Castle  (Photo courtesy of Ben Clinch, Flickr)

Example of a cell from the time that the castle was used as a prison.   (Photo courtesy of Avail, Flickr)

10.  Back to the bus station (use toilets if needed!) - hassle free exit to your car.

Free entry to Britain's heritage in September

Well, it has been several months since I last posted a blog. 

The school holidays and work have taken much of my time and energy over the past 6 weeks which I'm sure many people will relate to.

I was intending to try and resurrect my blog in September, however, I have come across some information on FREE entry into a number of heritage sites across the UK that I wanted to share and thought no time like the present!!

This initiative has been organised by the key national heritage trusts and charities from across the UK as part of a European programme to celebrate our heritage and culture and the events have different names / websites for England, Wales, Scotland, N Ireland/Irish Republic and London. 

The weblink below takes you to a general site where you can select the country you wish to focus on.

http://www.heritagedays.net/

Various heritage sites have chosen to open their doors to the public free of charge during September (the dates vary with some starting on 2 September) and there really does seem to be a wide range including churches, galleries, country houses, castles and civic building such as courts, police and fire stations.

Obviously, you may want to be selective if you have young children as there are places I wouldn't contemplate visiting with my troop but there is plenty to choose from.

Let me know if you visit anything.

New baby - 10 things I wouldn't buy

My sister in law is expecting her first baby in November and like everyone wants to be be ready for the new arrival but still wants to be careful with her money.

As we were expecting twins and had double the expense we really thought about what we would use so that the items we did buy were of use.

I think it's hard to know what you need / don't need with your first born so I thought I'd try and come up with some ideas of things that I really didn't need or use......

1.  Baby bath - we bought a baby sponge instead - much easy to use.

2.  A changing table - we used a cot top changing mat or changing mats on the floor - no where for baby to fall!

3.  We bought cot beds instead of a cot - these last until they are around 5 or 6 as you can take the cot bars off and turn the cot into a small bed when the child is ready.

4.  Cot bumpers - they look very pretty but I  think the advice is not to have them on the cot when the baby is moving in case they suffocate so I've never really understood the point of them!!

5.  Top sheets and blankets - I'm a big fan of baby sleeping bags (i.e. grobags although I have found that the cheaper alternatives have been fine too).  With these your baby never gets cold, doesn't lose it's blankets or sheets in the night and can't get its legs stuck in the bars when he/she starts to roll.

6.  A moses basket - very sweet but you can live without.  I put the twins in one end of the cot bed when they were born and I borrowed a moses basket from a friend for my youngest.  I was so glad I didn't buy a moses basket for her as at 9lb 7 at birth she wasn't in it for long.

7.  Designer baby shoes - they are not walking - they don't need them!!  And indeed, exploring their feet as babies and feeling the floor when starting to walk is an important part of their development.  Save your money for decent shoes when they actually need them!

8.  New baby clothes - newborn vests, babygros and outfits go for pennies on ebay and many are in excellent condition as small babies a) grow quickly and don't wear things for long, b) generally don't get that messy and c) have often received more clothes than they can wear when they are born.  Check out your local NCT Nearly New sale as well as they often have loads of good quality babies outfits for low prices.  You don't have to be a member of NCT to go to these sales but if you are looking for small babies outfits it is helpful if you know the babies gender!

9.  Duffel coats for winter babies - they can't move in the thick fabric!!  I do however, love snow suits in the colder weather.  Look for ones with zips all the way day for easy access and then you can pop your little one in quickly and even in a sleepsuit in a matter of seconds and they are ready to face the weather!

10.  A changing bag - join Boots parenting club and get one for free!  (Check this offer is till on though).  OK - so lots of other people may have the same style but I found that it was a good design that met all my needs when out and about so didn't mind.

If you have any other thoughts of things that are not necessary when preparing for your first baby I'd love to hear your ideas and will pass them on to my sister-in-law who will be very pleased to spend money on the important things. 

Walks with Children - Newborough Forest, Anglesey, North Wales

Once again, Anglesey in North West Wales provides another fantastic walk to do with children taking in Newborough Forest and Ynys Llanddwyn (Ynys = Island in Welsh).

This area forms an extensive nature reserve, with forest, ecologically important sand dunes and wide-open beaches and is an absolutely stunning location for a walk, swim or just a picnic.

Llanddwyn island is almost a part of the mainland but is just separated at high tide.  Llanddwyn Island is named after St Dwynwen, the Welsh patron saint of lovers. Legend has it that she was spurned by a prince and retreated heartbroken to the island. There she was granted three wishes, and asked to be given the power to grant the wishes of true lovers.

A distant view of Ynys Llanddwyn

View of small cove and volcanic rock from Island

Once on the island you can see the remains of a church which is said to have replaced St Dwynwen's church as well as ancient lighthouses, stone crosses and a (free) museum housed in an old pilot's cottage. There are also spectacular views of Snowdonia and the Lleyn Peninsula which my camera unfortunately doesn't do justice to.

Beautiful Hand Carved Gates

Remains of a Church

 
There are a host of routes that you can follow if you want to walk in this area.  (Click here for details of how to request a free guide).  You can park near the beach and just have a short walk across the beach to explore the island or there are longer, circular walks available which take you through the forest and along the beach.

Shipwrecked boat - 14 rescued

 We did a longer circular walk, parking in one of the forest car parks, walking to the island, along the beach to the estuary and then back onto a path in the forest.

Following the path markers through the forest

Books of walks in the area will contain routes or you can  find the location at OS grid reference SH 396 638 (Explorer map 263) and plan your own.

Apparently Newborough Warren is a favourite spot for birdwatching - expect to see divers, grebes, sea ducks, waders and purple sandpipers.

 Dogs are however, not allowed on the beach during the summer months.

MUMentum - Time to Take Control

Well....I feel just a bit of a fraud joining this link.

My youngest is 3 and I have lost weight since having her but subsequently put on more than I lost in the past 12 months - so I can hardly blame pregnancy.

However, coincidentally, before seeing this blog hop I had already decided that today was going to be the day I stopped making excuses and took myself in hand.

I have been going to Slimming World on and off for 2 years now and did very well in the first 12 months and then something went wrong.  Whilst I was finding juggling a full time job and 3 young children tiring and my son was having problems with his reading which was an added stress,  I really can't blame anyone else, or any particular event as ultimately it was down to me.

However, I think that I had done well, reached a plateau with my weight loss and also stopped staying at the Slimming World meetings which coupled with being tired and worried didn't help me move forward.

So.....I put on all the weight I lost ( 2 1/2 stone) and more beside and have been in a bit of a yo yo dieting cycle since.

I have rejoined Slimming World on a least 4 or 5 occasions to then drop out again after a few weeks due to either real or contrived reasons.  I seem to have spent a fortune on attending the meetings that I am not currently making full use of and I have decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

It is time for me to try and take control and responsibility for my own behaviour and rather than spend money I don't really have on support I am not using I am going to see whether being a part of this virtual group will help me on my journey.

So if you don't mind I'd like to post each week on my progress, get ideas from others and perhaps as time goes by feel happy enough to post pictures of me on my blog rather than just pictures of my family.

My ultimate goal would be to have a professional family portrait taken of us all but I have a long way to go until I would be happy to do that - so one step at a time I think.

I weighed myself this morning so know my starting point and whilst I'd rather not share my weight at this time, I can say that I need to lose at least 4 stone (4 1/2 stone would take me to my weight before children).

My plan is to follow the Slimming World plan as I know it well and can comfortably stay on plan to prepare our family meals without having to weigh and measure but I will also try and build in some additional exercise.  Whilst we try and stay active with the children at the weekends, I don't always do much in the week.  I've tried to go to organised classes in the past but you have to book a lot here in advance and I'd prefer to do what I feel like rather than what I am booked into as well as save the money - so tonight to start I have been for a brisk walk.

I am also going to avoid alcohol as I find that not only does this add additional calories but I tend to snack more and eat junk food that ordinarily wouldn't bother me.

So - here goes - can I regain control?  I hope so xxx

The British Weather stops play - hey ho!

Photo courtesy of Scutter - Flickr

Last week I posted about Open Farm Sunday - an event once a year where farms open their doors (or should it be gates?) to visitors, all free of charge.

We had picked a farm nearby that sounded like it would be great for the children with extra activities especially for them and everyone was really looking forward to it.

Unfortunately, the great British weather stepped in and the day has been a wash out (literally)!  As campers, we are quite hardy individuals and have waterproofs, wellies etc but the rain and cold wind that that greeted us this morning even drove us undercover.
 

I felt soooo sorry for the participating farms as I'm sure that a lot of work and effort will have gone into preparing for today, planning the activities and making sure any dangerous farm equipment was well away.  I know that the farm that we were planning to visit was hoping to raise money for a local charity as well.

I am hoping that it was not as wet elsewhere across the UK so that hopefully most of the events went to plan but if the rain has crossed most of the country lets hope that it is to the benefit of farms in the drier areas where the recent lack of rain is a threat to crops or to feeding livestock.


Did anyone make it to one of these events?  I'd love to hear if you did x

(Ironically we went swimming instead!)

Children should be seen but not heard!

I would love to agree more with the statement that 'Children should be seen and not heard' - but unfortunately my children have not grasped this piece of etiquette yet!

So imagine my delight at finding this Waterwalkerz activity where you could indeed see your precious little bundles but with the sound turned off - fantastic!!

This was actually a treat / incentive / bribe in the middle of a 12 mile bike ride - where they get all this energy from is beyond me!!

The littlest one (who has a seat on the back of daddies bike at the moment) selected a more sedate activity.

Good fun had by all - but especially mummy - who truely belives that silence is golden!

Wookey Hole, Somerset

We were camping in Somerset over half term and were fortunate to have nice weather for most of the week.  But we did have one very wet day - so off we trooped to Wookey Hole.

I wasn't sure quite what to expect as the tourist leaflet was very muddled and probably doesn't sell it as well as it could but I have to say that this was a great choice to stay out of the rain as it really was a full day attraction mostly undercover.

We went to the caves first - which we enjoyed (although perhaps not as spectacular as some) with clever use of lighting to add to the atmosphere.

Wookey Hole caves - courtesy of  'I Like' (Flickr)

On completing the caves tour, you come out into the valley which is really pretty if the weather allows you to enjoy it.

The path takes you through the dinosaur garden...... including King Kong (?)!

You then enter the indoor attractions which include several soft play areas, a mirror maze, old circus exhibits and old 'pier' display full of antique penny machines (this last section could cost quite a bit - but our children are used to being told that there is no more money to spend!).

The largest soft play area is supposed to be for the over 4's but my quite able 3 year old used it with no problems. There is a smaller area for younger children and a further air cannon area which seemed to fascinate the boys in particular!

 

This must be what it is like to have sextuplets!

There is also a circus show 3 times a day at the weekends and school holidays.  We weren't expecting much but it was genuinely really very good.  The show was put on by local young people who had trained 3 times a week over a couple of years to master the unicycles, juggling, acrobatics, trapeze etc.  They have obviously worked hard and it was a joy to watch them.

We took a picnic which we ate in the car - but be warned - to enter and exit the main area you are taken through the shop (these people aren't silly are they?!).  However, we have perfected the hustle the children through quickly approach and managed to get through unscathed!

It is also worth picking up a leaflet at the tourist information centre if you think you might visit during your stay in Somerset as ours contained an additional discount voucher which meant that we made a small saving on the family entrance price.

It is quite an expensive day out if you are a larger family but we arrived just after it opened at 10am and left around 4pm so that to me makes Wookey Hole a great all day wet weather attraction.

The cost of twins!

Apparently a typical family now pays an average of £186,032 to raise a child from birth to the age of 21 - which amounts to £8,859 a year, £738 a month or £24.30 a day - according to the UK's largest friendly society, Liverpool Victoria (2007 report).

This is quite frightening, especially if you have more children than you had anticipated (and budgeted for) by having multiples.

Having multiples is quite cost effective for the employer and government as despite the mother having 2 (or more) children, they only need to pay standard maternity pay that you would receive twice if you had 2 children through separate pregnancies and cover 1 period of maternity leave.  When I was pregnant with my twins I did try and negotiate double the maternity pay and leave with my employer but this seemed to cause mirth rather than action and I wasn't successful!

I am also not sure why my second child (born 8 minutes after my first born) is cheaper to keep than his sister.  But this would appear to be the case in the eyes of the child benefit office.  My oldest daughter benefits from £20.30 per month while her brother apparently costs £13.40.

With my youngest daughter I could see some rationale to this in the sense that she was able to benefit from equipment, clothes etc handed down from her siblings.  With twins (or more) there is not that opportunity and you are faced with buying 2 cots/cot beds, cot bedding, vests and clothes, high chairs, 1st stage car seats, bouncy chairs, child reins, potties etc!

One further aspect that doesn't immediately spring to mind is the financial strain that is placed on the tooth fairy from a multiples household.  I think she/he may move in soon as the journeys have been very frequent recently (see photo for evidence!) and my youngest (age 3) watching all of this activity is wiggling her teeth in desperation to cash in as well!

Free day out on the farm - Open Farm Sunday -June 12 2011

On our way down to Somerset last saturday I spotted a sign about an open farm day.  Returning today I have looked it up and found about this great initiative where farms across the UK open to the public free of charge on 12 June as a part of Open Farm Sunday.

The website provides a summary of all participating farms and the events that they are hosting.  Most are putting on tours and additional activities for children.

The most local one to us describes it's activities as follows:

"11am til 4pm Farm Walk See Buffalo,Sheep and Pigs, Sheep Shearing, Sausage Making, Beehive visits, Wildlife and bird spotting Barbeque all day Farm shop open Fun activities and donations in aid of local charity. Free entry and parking"

Each farm will differ in times and activites but all are FREE!

As these are all working farms they don't seem to generally allow dogs which is understandable and sensible footwear is also recommended.

Check out your nearest farm on www.farmsunday.org and let me know if you are planning on going.  It sounds great to me and I think my children would love this.

Camping with Kids - How to cope with wet weather!

We are off to Somerset tomorrow to camp for a week.

We are all very excited but as I have seen the weather forecast I am a little bit less excited than I could be.  It is hard to get things dry when you are camping and if you and your clothes get damp it can be hard to warm up again.  Children and wet muddy wellies are also not a great combination with tents and this can lead to a more stressful trip.

Some children are easier to entertain in small spaces - my son is not one of them.  Also a day can be a very long time when you are camping!

Whilst it would be great to say that I have a host of free options you can do on rainy days - the reality is that the wet weather does make the day more expensive.

However, here are some of the things we have done on particularly wet / rainy days.....

• swimming pools often have evening sessions (and lots of rural areas also have a pool within reasonable driving distance);
• a meal out - fish and chip shops with tables can be more of an event than other fast food outlets but aren't as expensive or formal as pub meals / restaurants;
• museums / local art galleries etc - often free.  Some of the national museums are huge with fantastic displays i.e - the national railway museum (York), the world museum (Liverpool); the RAF museum (Shropshire), museum of science and industry (Manchester);
• play barns can fill an afternoon - try and avoid meal times unless you want to spend a fortune!
• amusement arcades by the seaside with a big bag of 2ps (I don't think they take pennies anymore!);
• the cinema if they are not too young - look out for Saturday morning films (often £1 entrance though won't be the latest film!);
• small local attractions - we filled a very wet afternoon in a small aquarium in Pembrokeshire run by a charity.  Much cheaper then the large aquariums and it was very quirky with a games corner and an insect exhibition.
• underground attractions!  I.e. caves, mines etc.  I am not suggesting you go down open mine shafts - these are proper attractions which can be quite costly for a family but are educational, interesting and dry!  Save money by picnicking in the car!

If you have any other ideas to share I'd love to hear them as I have 3 young children (and a limited budget) to keep entertained.

But hopefully the rain will stay away (at least in the daytime) until we are back in work and school.  It doesn't hurt to be optimistic does it?!

Have a good bank holiday weekend whatever you are doing x

Great Website for frugal fans - Find the Cheapest Petrol in your area!

Petrol price make me want to do this.......

 (Photo courtesy of Hector Garcia, Flickr)

So I was really pleased to find this great website - has anyone come across it before?

http://www.petrolprices.com/


It is free to sign up, you put in your postcode and the type of fuel you use and it will list the cheapest petrol stations within a 5 mile radius to you.  It will then email you each week (or more frequently if you wish) with an up to date list.

The variation between petrol stations is huge with petrol stations within a 5 mile radius to us ranging from 134.9 - 138.9 pence per litre for unleaded and 139.9 - 143.9 pence per litre for diesel.  For me this also doesn't include any big supermarkets but I think I have the option of searching near other postcodes.

I don't know how many litres my car takes to work out the potential savings but I can only assume that over a few months it will start to make a difference.

I do know that our budget has really felt the increase in petrol prices and with both my husband and I having to drive to work it is an expense that is hard for us to cut by much.

Take a look - let me know if you think it is any good. I'd love to hear your comments.

Walking with kids – Penmon Point, Anglesey, North Wales

Prince William and his new wife couldn’t have chosen a more picturesque place to start their married life together.  When the sun comes out, the island of Anglesey at the far North West of north Wales is absolutely stunning.  With views of the mountains of Snowdonia in the distance and the fantastic Anglesey coastline beside you, this walk shows you some of its beauty.

This is a little walk (about 2 miles) which I found in a book called 

All Terrain Pushchair Walks: Anglesey and Lleyn Pennisula (All-Terrain Pushchair Walks)

You park in a small car park by the Priory and Dovecote for which there is a small charge towards the maintenance of the car park and toll road.  You can go inside both buildings which the children enjoy.

Penmon Priory

 The walk takes you across some fields, through a small wooded area and onto the headland in front of a lighthouse.  

Penmon Lighthouse 

 You walk along the headland for a short way and then you can access a pebbly beach and there is a café and toilets (you do have to buy something at the café to use the toilet though). 

View across the headland taking in the beach, lighthouse, Puffin Island and cafe (white building to the right)

(Photos of lighthouse and headland courtesy of Dangrey, Photo of Priory courtesy of Ted and Jen - all Flickr)

The views and landscape are gorgeous and people drive directly to Penmon Point to enjoy them but the walk is so easy that I certainly wouldn’t.

This was the first walk that my youngest, Josephine did in its entirety at nearly 3 years old and the changing landscape helped to keep her engaged as the lazy little monkey would have preferred her normal position in the baby carrier!

However, by re-enacting one of her Dora the Explorer books we found ourselves walking through ‘Mucky Mud’, the ‘Spooky Forest’ and by ‘Froggy Pond’.  (Ok – so Froggy Pond was the sea but call it creative licence!).

This is suitable for off road prams but you will need to lift the buggy over 1 or 2 stiles.  

A new family car - 5 or 7 seats?

We have reached the point where we desperately need a new car.

Our second car is costing us a fortune to keep on the road and has now developed a very strange habit of flashing its hazard warning lights when the doors are opened (regardless of whether the engine is on) and the windscreen wipers can't be relied on.

Unfortunately due to work we can't manage without 2 cars although I would love to be able to and did when I was at home with the children.

Our main car is a Citreon Bellingo.  We bought it just before the twins were born.  It was a year old and as the design is converted from the Citreon van was a lot cheaper than other family cars of a similar age.  There weren't many of these on the road at the time and I wasn't convinced that I liked it.

Nearly 7 years on I am a convert - it has been absolutely fantastic as a family car.  Clearly other people think so too as you see so many more on them on the road now.

It has a generous boot which is able to transport a double buggy, 2 travel cots and all the other paraphernalia you take with you when traveling with babies.  The seats are high up meaning that you don't have to bend to strap babies/children into car seats and the rear doors slide open meaning that all the stress of slamming the doors into neighbouring cars is removed when getting children in and out of the car in car parks.

(The children modelling the marvellous boot space the Citreon Bellingo has to offer on a camp trip last year).

More recent research has shown it to be fairly economical - certainly against larger family cars / MPVs.

So - we have decided that rather than buy another old banger we will bite the bullet and buy a car a couple of years old which will become our main family car.  Because of the above, the Citreon Bellingo or its counterparts, the Fiat Doplo or the Peugot Partner are the favoured car which even when a few years old are cheaper than traditional family cars.

The other element to our search is that these makes also do a 7 seat version which when we have looked is likely to take us slightly over the budget we have set for the car.  We are now debating the value of those 2 extra seats.  My feeling is that as the children are getting older it might be nice if they can bring friends along on family outings / birthday trips etc.  Also, my mother-in-law no longer drives and it would be nice to be able to take her out with us from time to time.

Mmmmm.....what to do?

If anyone has any thoughts on the value of a 7 seat family car when you have 3 children I'd be really grateful to receive it.  This will be the biggest purchase we make for some years to come and I really want to get it right - so any help would be appreciated.

In the meantime.....pray it doesn't rain!

Toddler Twins - should I buy twin reins?

My son always thought running off and being chased was an excellent game and as you can imagine having a sibling the same age means twice as much mischief and fun (although not always for poor mum!).  So inevitably my daughter (who I believe would have walked nicely with me) would disappear after her brother or often in the opposite direction.

On this basis it wasn’t safe to walk near roads or other potential dangers without the children in their buggy or on reins until they were old enough to have a better understanding of cause and effect!  (For us probably about 2 - 2 1/2 yrs).

As I was a member of a twins club with a group of children of similar ages we decided to try twin reins and were able to get a discount on the purchase of a number of sets. 

 

The answer to all my prayers?  Not exactly!  You could join the reins together and hold in one hand  but I didn’t find that it worked particularly well as one would want to walk faster or slower then the other, they would cross paths, one would trip and pull the other down.   

However, one definite advantage to these reins was that they came with an adult belt so I had the ability to secure the reins around my waist and I then had my hands free to hold the children's hands and teach them to walk with me nicely. (Well attempt at any rate!!).  You didn't have to join the reins together to attach them to the belt which prevented them pulling each other over.

(Photo courtesy of www.twinsuk.co.uk)

A friend also commented on the length of the reins and how much easier they were for her husband to use as he had found that ordinary baby reins were not long enough for him to use comfortably.

I did go on to invest in the wrist straps when they were slightly older but I should warn you that they can slip off the child’s wrist if they are not taut.  I lost my daughter in a children’s department store at the same time I was paying for the wrist straps because of this and of course she was far too small to spot over the rails and shelves.

Fortunately, I managed to find her before any harm became of her and the only casualty was my poor nerves!

I have found that I used the pushchair for longer with my twins than with their younger sister, predominantly to ensure that they were safe.  This is a key reason to buy a lightweight pram!  However, I don’t think that has caused any problems and in fact both completed an 8 mile walk last weekend at the tender age of 6 so don’t worry if it feels that that they’ll never be out of the buggy.  The two most important things are to keep the children safe and to retain your sanity! 

Does anyone else have any experience of twin reins and a thought on the value of buying them?

One to one time with twins?

 Question posted by Kandi of Twin-spiration on Multiples and more

(Kandi has beautiful 6 year old indentical twin girls)

The question posted on the site...

Do you have one on one time with your twins and if so what do you do? Do you feel guilty not being with the other one and how often do you do one on one time? We have tried it many time but enjoy being together with all of us better. I do think it's important to have that one on one time but am not sure where to go or what to do and how long and how often to do them.

My thoughts to Kandi's question:

I have 6 year old fraternal twins (1 boy and 1 girl) and another 3 year old daughter. Both my husband and I work (though I reduced my hours at work last October)so time is tight and we do tend to do lots together as a family. We also love camping and getting out and about in the summer so that again tends to be time we spend together as a family.

Your photos look great and you all look happy, healthy and connected as a family so whatever you are doing is obviously working

That being said we do from time to time have 1-1 time, girls days, boys days, quick trips to the shops etc and I think the option for that increases as they get older. It is probably easier for us because of the gender difference as my twins have very different interests.

We haven't done it for a while and the older 2 did suggest it the other day - so perhaps your girls have a view?

However, with your girls being in different classes (something I think is important for all sorts of reasons) are you finding that they are being invited to different parties / social activities? This could be the perfect time to enjoy some individual time in a natural way.

I found that when my twins were babies I did feel guilty on focusing on one more than the other and then I realised that actually I was focussing on which ever baby needed that input at the time (be it illness, development etc). It also seemed to even out in the end.

I think it is also very easy to feel guilty about choices that we make as a parent and I think that that is a shame as most parents are doing a great job. Did the previous generation worry so much I wonder?

Cashback websites - are you missing out?

With 3 growing children it is absolutely essential that we budget carefully and make every penny count so the discovery of cashback websites was so exciting!

However, having met up with an old friend yesterday I was surprised to find out that some people are still not aware that these exist.

These sites act as a portal through to other sites where, if you make purchases, you receive a percentage of your payment back.  It really is money for nothing.

There are an array of cashback sites available but I use the Top Cashback site.  To date I have 'earned' £128 from cashback on things that I was intending to buy anyway.  I think my sister is doing very well through this as she is going through this site in order to make her catalogue payments.

Sites I have received cashback from include:
The book people - £2.55
Ebay - £7.44
The Entertainer toy shop - £17.67
Travelodge - £4.65
Parcel Force - £4.04
AA Travel Insurance- £4.76
P & O Ferries - £8.64

As well as percentage cashback offers there are fixed price payments for certain transactions i.e I received £5 cashback on my first Tesco delivery.  They often do good deals on mobile phone networks and insurance brokers like go Compare often offer cashback on getting quotes.

You can get free payments through using certain search engines and entering competitions as well.

My biggest cashback payment was £33 when I purchased our new computer through the Dell website.

One word of caution - this is only a good deal if you were intending to buy from those shops in the first place!  Buying things that you don't want or paying more for the item or on delivery in order to receive cashback only works if the cashback is greater than the higher costs incurred.

Have a look if you aren't already using one - they are definitely worth using!

Let me know how you get on.

Family hotel rooms for 5 or more

We tend to go camping when we holiday in the UK but from time to time we have found it is useful to have hotel accommodation.  However, to my dismay, many hotel family rooms don’t accommodate a family of 5 and finding one that does is hard even with the internet.  Sadly, this also includes the budget ones – although the price of 2 rooms for a night is still often cheaper than for 1 room at a more expensive hotel.

I have recently found 'Roomfor5', a website that helps with finding accommodation in the UK, France, Spain, the USA and beyond for larger families (5+) which looks like a great resource.  Whilst I haven’t had reason to use it to book anywhere yet it is great to have a single site that links you to so many hotels.

 

Great idea and many thanks to Drina Murphy who came up with the idea!

Walking with kids - Introducing Dovedale, the Peak District

We had a fantastic time camping near Buxton in the Peak District over the Easter holidays.



We enjoy the countryside, camping and walking as a family and walking is a free activity which can bring loads of benefits.  Fresh air, exercise and time together as a family being examples.

And just because you have young children doesn't mean that you can't enjoy these activities although sometimes a bit of thought is needed.
Our twins (see above) managed their first 2.5 mile walk before they were 3 years old and I hope to post some tips of walking with children in future blogs.

Dovedale in the Peak District is ideal for walking with a young family.  The biggest challenge to accessibility would be the stepping stones (see above and below) but it is fine if you are using a baby carrier and I should imagine that you could get a buggy across with a bit of help.  I probably would have tried taking ours across though it may not be recommended!.  You would need some help in carrying a pram across and would need to ensure that the stones were dry and conditions were suitable before doing so.  (Or alternatively you can access the walk from the other end and stop before the stepping stones).

There are dirt and stone paths which would be more suitable to an off road pram or the option we use is a baby carrier for our youngest.  She is however quite a weight now so is being encouraged to walk by herself more often (Josephine is below with my ever suffering husband, Niall and the well used backpack!).

 The benefits of the walk at Dovedale for children is the varied scenery and focal points.  There are a range of caves of different shapes and sizes.

Logs you can sit on (for the braver and more senior amongst us) for the perfect photo opportunity.

There are also a multitude of birds to spot on the river and overhead.  We didn't see a kingfisher but we saw a number of very tame dippers.

And the children were absolutely delighted to find a tree stump and log bench stuffed with coins.  The photos below demonstrate their attempts to remove them (I'm pleased to say that they weren't successful!).

This is a linear walk (we started from the car park at the bottom of Dovedale) so you have the option to turn round when you have had enough and return to the car park or you can continue the full  3 miles  to reach the pretty village of Milldale, buy an ice cream or a cup of tea and sit by the river.  
(This walk would be 6 miles in total from Dovedale to Milldale return).


Milldale was busy in the run up to Easter and I should imagine would get very busy during the busy summer season - so it might be worth setting off early or avoiding the peak holiday periods.  But it is definitely worth visiting.

We went with family and left a car at the other end so we only walked one way on this particular day but the twins at age 6 1/2 years are capable of managing 8 miles with plenty of snacks but they are used to longer walks - so plan according to the needs of your family.


For full details of this walk see http://www.trekkingbritain.com/dovedaletomilldale.htm

Diary of a new blogger - the 3rd post

We have been away over Easter - camping in Derbyshire and this has had somewhat of a negative impact on my progress as a new blogger.

On the positive side we had a fantastic time in Derbyshire, the weather was fantastic and I have some great ideas for future posts but on the downside I have not been keeping up with the tasks that I have been sent through my weekly E blog course courtesy of littlemummy.com

I feel a bit like a naughty school girl although I know that no one is checking up on me.  Perhaps I feel like this because I am keen to master this new blog world and know that I won't do it if I don't learn more and continue with the lessons.

Either way - with the mantra 'I must do better' I will keep working through it and add some more content to this blog as well.

Keep your fingers crossed for me this week!

Bathing Baby Twins - what the books don't tell you!

Bathing twin babies can be quite a stressful experience.  Often small babies don’t like being dressed and undressed and whilst they can be content while in the water they may want to be wrapped and dried quickly once the bath experience is finished.

If you are experiencing this don’t panic – this stage will pass and soon your twins will be grumbling when removed from the bath because they are enjoying it so much.

To save money I would recommend that you don’t bother buying a baby bath.  I had one which I used a couple of times but I found that they are heavy to move when filled and awkward to fill and empty unless you stand it in the bath to use. 

There are a number of alternatives on the market but the cheap and easy alternative I found was to buy a baby bath sponge which you lay your baby on whilst in the regular bath.  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Summer-Infant-Comfy-Bath-Sponge/dp/B000H953Y2

I am a great advocate of doubling up on tasks where you can but I wouldn’t recommend that you try and bath both babies at the same time as it won’t be long until they are trying to roll.  A baby can become distressed very quickly in only a small amount of water so it is safer to concentrate on one baby at a time and have 2 hands available to help your little one out of trouble if required.  Needless to say, never leave your baby alone in the bath.

The other main reason not to bath both at the same time, is that once out of the water young babies can scream until they are dried and dressed, so it is much better to do this as quickly as possible.  If you have two wet babies one will inevitably have to wait while you deal with the first.

Many books on routines for babies recommend a bath as preparation and a cue to the baby that it is bedtime.  DO NOT LISTEN! - There are plenty of other things you can do to bring in bedtime cues other than a daily bath such as cuddles and a feed in a dimly lit room, perhaps some gentle music.  So I’d avoid making a bath a fundamental part of an evening routine unless you absolutely have to.  Babies do not become particularly dirty and the daily top and tail wash will be enough with a bath once or twice a week.  This is also much better for their skin as well particularly if they have eczema.

I didn’t use a daily evening bath within our bedtime routine and my twins have been excellent sleepers once the routine became established at around 8 weeks old.

You may find it easier to bath your babies in the morning when they are less tired and fretful or to bath each baby on a different day.

Once your babies are able to sit confidently then it becomes easier to bath both together.  Look out for longer length non-slip bath mats for in the bath and avoid oil based bath soaps as this can also make the bath slippery.

My final piece of advice when you get to this stage is to invest in a waterproof coat and hat as 2 babies splashing in the bath is great fun but can get very wet!  

Photo by flickr user Rebecca and Bernhard

3rd Birthday Treat - don't pay for a party

It was my youngest daughter's 3rd birthday today and we opted out of a 'proper' party for her.

Instead we spent the day yesterday at Greenwood Forest Park in Snowdonia (near Caernarfon).  Followed by a party tea, cake and candles with all her family.

The highlight of the day has to be this award winning eco park which is absolutely fantastic for children and is a full day out at a competitive price.  At 3 years old Josephine can pretty much take part in everything now.

There is only one small roller coaster which generates its own power and the rest of the activities don't allow the kids to be passive but encourage running, bouncing and playing.

There are 2 large play areas within the forest environment suitable for a younger and older age group, a large bouncing pillow, a jungle boat experience, a bare foot trail, archery, soft play for the under 3s, den building, moon karts and much more.  I think our family favourite is the great green run, a sledging activity on an artifical grass slope - it can go very fast and be enjoyed by young and old alike!

Take a picnic and lots of snacks as the children will be running around all day.

Well worth traveling too and one of many reasons to pick North West Wales as a holiday destination.

Josie absolutely adored her 'all day' party surrounded by her favourite people.  We also had party bags after our picnic lunch and several renditions of happy birthday after our take away treat.  Her face was a delight and I really don't think she would have had half as much fun with a gaggle of 3 year olds at a leisure centre - maybe next year.

To be recommended!

Sleeping Arrangements for your Baby Twins

Your twins will have spent 9 months (or thereabouts) together in an increasingly cosy environment and will be used to close contact with their sibling, so there is a school of thought that twins should be kept together for comfort when newborns.

When my twins were born, the staff at the hospital were keen for them to share a cot.  However, with my son born weighing 7lbs and with my daughter born weighing 5lb 10 there quite simply was not enough room!  So separate cots at the hospital it was!  They didn't seem particularly distraught at this development.

On returning home, rather than the expense and hazards of having 2 Moses baskets we had opted to have one of the cot beds in our bedroom (following the guidance that new babies should sleep in their parents bedrooms).

This worked really well and for a short time my babies slept side by side (see picture below - natey and kiera as very small babies).  They didn't disturb each other when crying in the night (most twins don't), and with a cot top changing unit everything and everyone was in one place within easy reach of the bed for night feeds.

(Top tip - place an extra sheet folded under their heads and then if either are sick / posset you can change that sheet rather than the whole bed which doesn't disturb them as much).

It didn't take long for them to grow too big to sleep side by side and as they became more active they would hit each other (I'd like to say by accident - but they do like to tease each other even now!).  The next step for us was to give them a place at each end of the cot.  As we had bought cot beds there was plenty of space and by sharing neither seemed too overwhelmed by the space.  This approach also avoided the problems that I know some parents have had moving their babies from a moses basket to a cot.

Similarly, they had no problem moving from our bedroom to their own (they shared for 3 1/2 years), perhaps because they had company during the transistion?

This worked well for us and I'd definately recommend saving money by not buying moses baskets which can then be used on some of the many other items that will be of use to you with newborn twin babies.

Good luck x

Choosing a double pram for twins - things to consider

Prams can be a big expense so it is important to try and get the right one for you and your family.  Plus with twins they are even more important, as carying 2 babies for any distance is not a practical option.

OK - so where do you start?

I'd suggest that you start by looking at your lifestyle.  Do you live in a town or a rural area?  Will you be walking a lot or in and out of the car?  Are you hoping to spend time browsing the shops?  Have you already got a toddler?

Probably one of the most important elements is the weight of the pram.  I used the pram for longer with the twins than with my 3rd child because of the safety aspect of keeping 2 young toddlers safe and your babies will soon grow!

If you live in a rural area you may want to consider an 'off road' pram which can cope with all sorts of terrain.  This may also be the right option if you are planning on walking a lot.

There is a lot to be said for a travel system i.e. pram and attachable car seats  - however, these are quite expensive and you will use the pram for a lot longer than you will use the 1st stage car seats.

Once you have worked out what you want then consider your budget.  The reason I haven't put this first is that your preferred option may be available second hand at a fraction of the cost.

I had a limited budget and started off with a Mclaren buggy and separate car seats - the economical choice.  I hated the pram - it was awkward to get up and down curbs, hard to push with any sort of shopping and heavy as the children grew bigger.  It also hated bumps!

I then saw an advert in the buy and sell for an off road twin Terrain Mountain Buggy.  These are a New Zealand make.  Whilst we weren't climbing mountains, the Mclaren wouldn't move across grass and felt every bump.  So we traveled 50 miles to see this pram.  When we arrived, I wasn't sure what to say (I'd never heard of Mountain Buggy) - it looked like a post office delivery cart (not helped by the fact that it was red and blue!!).  But once there, I was too polite not to buy it (not good, I know!).  However...........

........ it has been the best £200 I have ever spent!  (They retail new for £500 - £600).  The children were happy in it - they rocked (literally!).  It was very light (my friend is a childminder and after using mine has bought one and attached a buggy board so she can transport 3 children).  They have a single handle so you can push/steer with one hand and hold a child with the other.  You can also put it up with one hand and fold it down really easily.  You can take it over fields, pavements, in snow and it is narrow so you can get through shop door ways.  The fabric can be removed and is fully washable (very useful).

I didn't realise at the time that you can also purchase carrycots (single or doubles) and car seats attachments as well.

In fact I loved it so much I bought the company (actually I didn't, although I would have loved to) but I did go on and buy a single Urban Mountain Buggy for my youngest daughter.

And I resold it on ebay for not much less than I had originally bought it for - fantastic!

Looking at their website - they have a new model which looks great, although I don't know if it retains the features I loved so much on my Mountain Buggy Terrain.

As you can tell I am a Mountain Buggy  fan but I realise that it won't suit everyone.  So think about what you need and do your research.  There are plenty of sites which provide reviews which will help confirm your thoughts and try and think beyond the pretty fabric or a drink holder to the important factors, weight, size and suitability for you lifestyle!

Check out the Mumsnet review site, which incidentally gives the Mountain Buggy Terrain an overall score of 9.5 - so it's clearly not just me who is a fan!

Happy Shopping!